Well everyone, the time is almost here. The car is packed (and I overpacked!) and ready to leave after work today. In two days I will FINALLY get to see my husband and have an actual conversation with him. I can't even begin to tell you how I feel right now. I'm nervous and anxious; my nerves have made me sick to my stomach. I'm tired but I can't sleep. We only got a 15 minute phone call yesterday, but this close to seeing him I don't care. I will take the 15 minutes.
I had the hardest time saying goodbye to Traveler this morning. His hopped in the car before we went on his walk and he stared at me as I packed it up. I wish I could take him to see his daddy. I know Trav misses having his daddy around.
John sounds more positive about getting Thursday night with me. We still don't know about Sunday night, but again I will take what I can get. Five minutes is better than nothing at all. Honestly, I think we are getting very spoiled with the extra time.
Anyway, more to come later. Hope everyone has a Happy 4th! Will post pictures and info as soon as I can.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
I Need A Vacation from Vacation
So in the last month I have been to Columbus, OH, Charlotte, NC and I just got back from Baltimore, MD. I am EXHAUSTED! I need a mini break from all these trips. When I came home from Charlotte I didn't even bother to pack away my bag or anything because I left this past Friday for Baltimore. Hopefully I can get rest this week because I leave after work next Monday for Ft. Benning, GA! So glad it is only a week away.
Another busy week though. I need to try and write two papers, pack, haircut, mani/pedi, belated birthday dinner, work, get ahead at work for next week so I don't leave behind so much, more homework...shew.
So my birthday was OK. I guess it didn't help that I was in a car alone driving to Baltimore where no one knew it was my birthday. Otherwise I would have spent the day off doing something with my mom, I'm sure. I saw her Friday morning before I headed out and as soon as a co-worker said Happy Birthday I broke down. 26 isn't a big deal anyway.
And then he tells me I may not be able to go down for our anniversary because the last three weeks there they are out in the field and only come back on Sundays to shower and call home. Well, all this starts before our anniversary and even though its a holiday weekend I can't go down for two days. Hopefully, it will all work out and I can go.
On a positive note...
It sounds like because Sunday is a holiday I may get more time with John. Rumor has it the OCS guys may process in Thursday rather than Friday and get released until Monday morning at 8 am. Of course we won't know for sure until at least Thursday. But, that would be great to have Thursday and Sunday night with him. More time than I expected.
I did get an hour phone call yesterday. We talked more about the move and next week. We can't wait to see each other and honestly will take any time we can get with one another. I miss him so much. I miss his kiss, his touch, I miss his laugh and the way he laughs at my when I do something silly. I miss it all. He is hoping they can have their phones during personal time this week since they finished everything today. That would be great since I can't send letters anymore.
Another busy week though. I need to try and write two papers, pack, haircut, mani/pedi, belated birthday dinner, work, get ahead at work for next week so I don't leave behind so much, more homework...shew.
So my birthday was OK. I guess it didn't help that I was in a car alone driving to Baltimore where no one knew it was my birthday. Otherwise I would have spent the day off doing something with my mom, I'm sure. I saw her Friday morning before I headed out and as soon as a co-worker said Happy Birthday I broke down. 26 isn't a big deal anyway.
And then he tells me I may not be able to go down for our anniversary because the last three weeks there they are out in the field and only come back on Sundays to shower and call home. Well, all this starts before our anniversary and even though its a holiday weekend I can't go down for two days. Hopefully, it will all work out and I can go.
On a positive note...
It sounds like because Sunday is a holiday I may get more time with John. Rumor has it the OCS guys may process in Thursday rather than Friday and get released until Monday morning at 8 am. Of course we won't know for sure until at least Thursday. But, that would be great to have Thursday and Sunday night with him. More time than I expected.
I did get an hour phone call yesterday. We talked more about the move and next week. We can't wait to see each other and honestly will take any time we can get with one another. I miss him so much. I miss his kiss, his touch, I miss his laugh and the way he laughs at my when I do something silly. I miss it all. He is hoping they can have their phones during personal time this week since they finished everything today. That would be great since I can't send letters anymore.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Birthday Blues
So tomorrow is my birthday. Normally I would go around counting down the days and celebrating the whole month. But now I just want to forget that it is even coming since John isn't here. It just isn't the same.
He sent me a birthday card which I received Monday. I broke down as it was just another reminder that he isn't here. I know this won't be the last birthday he misses. Back in March we went to Charlotte to visit with our friends and they were nice enough to let me go to the Apple store. I have been wanting a Mac and John let me get one for my birthday....three months early.
I know my co-workers are going to sing to me any minute because I am off tomorrow to go to Maryland. A friend I met through Facebook sent a package of tissues (for when I cry at graduation), an American Flag and a few other things. I thought that was sweet. Her boyfriend will graduate with John on the 30th and go over to OCS with him as well. She has been trying to make it better for me.
I feel bad because my mom calls and keeps saying, "its almost your birthday" and I just keep saying, "I'm not celebrating". I just want people to forget it this year. It doesn't mean anything to me if my Love isn't here.
He sent me a birthday card which I received Monday. I broke down as it was just another reminder that he isn't here. I know this won't be the last birthday he misses. Back in March we went to Charlotte to visit with our friends and they were nice enough to let me go to the Apple store. I have been wanting a Mac and John let me get one for my birthday....three months early.
I know my co-workers are going to sing to me any minute because I am off tomorrow to go to Maryland. A friend I met through Facebook sent a package of tissues (for when I cry at graduation), an American Flag and a few other things. I thought that was sweet. Her boyfriend will graduate with John on the 30th and go over to OCS with him as well. She has been trying to make it better for me.
I feel bad because my mom calls and keeps saying, "its almost your birthday" and I just keep saying, "I'm not celebrating". I just want people to forget it this year. It doesn't mean anything to me if my Love isn't here.
Busy, Busy, Busy Bee
Things have been crazy in the last few weeks. I have been to Charlotte, NC and I am headed to Maryland this weekend for a wedding. Lets not forget homework, packing, laundry, unpacking, dogs and a sick grandmother are all added in the mix. Right now I am just tired and want nothing more than to go to bed.
I am excited about the wedding this weekend. John's friend from high school is getting married. He was actually a groomsman in ours, and John and I were both upset when we learned he wouldn't be able to be in their wedding. However, last week the couple asked me to do a reading at their wedding since John could not attend and play his part. I was very honored by this, especially since I've only met the bride once and the groom a few times. We do keep up with one another on Facebook though. I just hope I don't get up there and have a breakdown.
The last week or so I have been more emotional than ever! I think the closer it gets the more eager I am to just get down there and see him. I now have to stop sending letters and I hope we get more calls. Letters are how I talk to John. I know I could still write them and give them to him, but it isn't the same. I know he looks forward to mail time and all the push ups he has to do. I can only hope they will be replaced with more phone calls.
Come on June 30th!
I am excited about the wedding this weekend. John's friend from high school is getting married. He was actually a groomsman in ours, and John and I were both upset when we learned he wouldn't be able to be in their wedding. However, last week the couple asked me to do a reading at their wedding since John could not attend and play his part. I was very honored by this, especially since I've only met the bride once and the groom a few times. We do keep up with one another on Facebook though. I just hope I don't get up there and have a breakdown.
The last week or so I have been more emotional than ever! I think the closer it gets the more eager I am to just get down there and see him. I now have to stop sending letters and I hope we get more calls. Letters are how I talk to John. I know I could still write them and give them to him, but it isn't the same. I know he looks forward to mail time and all the push ups he has to do. I can only hope they will be replaced with more phone calls.
Come on June 30th!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Letter Romance
I'm not going to lie. The last seven weeks have almost seemed like a romance you might watch in a romantic war movie. Girlfriends and wives at home waiting to hear from their love through a letter or a phone call. It brightens up your day when you get either one.
We live in modern day where conversations have been replaced with e-mails and text messages, but I get letters. Before the days of "you've got mail" couples had to send letters to one another and had no other form of communication. I'm sure even then letters took a little longer to get anywhere.
By no means do letters replace the sounds of a voice or the touch of your love. When I read them though I pretend he is talking to me. I hear his voice in my head as I read the letter. In the last 6 1/2 years we have been together I have very few cards from John. He isn't one to express himself too much or write, but he writes me everyday right now. I am so thankful for each letter that comes. Even if it is a short one.
Letters can help you express yourself in ways you may never otherwise have. Its so much easier to write something down sometimes then it is to say it. When I get a letter I forget about my cell phone and my computer. When he goes off to OCS I think I am going to miss the letters. Not that I won't LOVE seeing him on Skype or talking to him on the phone, but I will miss coming home to see if I have something in the mail.
I was talking about a friend the other day and explaining how I get letters almost everyday and how that is the only form of communication we have. She thought it was romantic and I agree. Its a great feeling coming home to a letter filled with love from someone so far away. I know he thinks of me. I almost want to curse the mail on Sundays when it doesn't run and Tuesday when I never get a letter. But only a few more weeks.
Its just a sweet letter romance. :-D
We live in modern day where conversations have been replaced with e-mails and text messages, but I get letters. Before the days of "you've got mail" couples had to send letters to one another and had no other form of communication. I'm sure even then letters took a little longer to get anywhere.
By no means do letters replace the sounds of a voice or the touch of your love. When I read them though I pretend he is talking to me. I hear his voice in my head as I read the letter. In the last 6 1/2 years we have been together I have very few cards from John. He isn't one to express himself too much or write, but he writes me everyday right now. I am so thankful for each letter that comes. Even if it is a short one.
Letters can help you express yourself in ways you may never otherwise have. Its so much easier to write something down sometimes then it is to say it. When I get a letter I forget about my cell phone and my computer. When he goes off to OCS I think I am going to miss the letters. Not that I won't LOVE seeing him on Skype or talking to him on the phone, but I will miss coming home to see if I have something in the mail.
I was talking about a friend the other day and explaining how I get letters almost everyday and how that is the only form of communication we have. She thought it was romantic and I agree. Its a great feeling coming home to a letter filled with love from someone so far away. I know he thinks of me. I almost want to curse the mail on Sundays when it doesn't run and Tuesday when I never get a letter. But only a few more weeks.
Its just a sweet letter romance. :-D
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I'M A GLEEK!
So one of my new favorite shows is Glee. I get on iTunes each week to download some of my favorite songs from each episode and I have all the soundtracks.
Well tonight is the season finale where they are performing at regionals. Of course I downloaded the soundtrack as well, which includes songs by Journey. The first song is "Faithfully", which Finn and Rachel sing together.
"Wondering where I am lost without you, And being apart ain't easy on this love affair, Two strangers learn to fall in love again, I get the joy of rediscovering you, you stand by me I'm forever yours faithfully " Journey
Well tonight is the season finale where they are performing at regionals. Of course I downloaded the soundtrack as well, which includes songs by Journey. The first song is "Faithfully", which Finn and Rachel sing together.
"Wondering where I am lost without you, And being apart ain't easy on this love affair, Two strangers learn to fall in love again, I get the joy of rediscovering you, you stand by me I'm forever yours faithfully " Journey
John and I have been by each other sides for almost seven years now. He supported me in going back to school and I support him in joining the Army. I feel lost without him here. When I have a bad day I don't have my best friend here to make it better or at least listen to me.
This song is so appropriate for any military couple who has gone through a deployment, separated during basic or being apart for whatever reason. This can go for couples who are often apart for whatever reason. A friend told me that each time her husband comes home it is like getting to know each other all over again and falling in love all over.
This song is so appropriate for any military couple who has gone through a deployment, separated during basic or being apart for whatever reason. This can go for couples who are often apart for whatever reason. A friend told me that each time her husband comes home it is like getting to know each other all over again and falling in love all over.
To my Love, I'm forever yours, faithfully.
Jaded?
From what I heard many military wives become jaded. This really makes me think because I don't want to be a jaded military wife.
Already I have experienced frustration with the Army. I was told to contact one person to request the weekend with John, but there was someone else I was supposed to contact. I still don't know at this point if I will get the weekend with him, and will more than likely have to hang around Friday to find out. I know this is just a small taste of what is to come.
What I really want to know is what makes us jaded?
Things change and I have to learn to roll with the punches. A new friend of mine says her fiance says, "only worry about the things you can control". This is so true. But what I keep thinking to myself through the frustration and stress is that this is what is making him happy. This is what he wants right now and I need to be here to support that 100% no matter how often the Army changes its mind.
Is it that after so long we get tired of giving up our lives and putting them backseat to the Army life? I hope that I can keep the positive attitude through the years as we experience more and more what this life has to offer us.
Like marriage things are not always easy. Some things you have to work harder at to get the result you want. You have to come to a compromise with certain things in order for both parties to be at least somewhat happy. Now, I realize that it will be more the Army way or no way at all.
I do believe that we are going to have to work harder to make sure the other person knows how much we care and love them. I am scared of deployments and being away from one another, but I know that I have to keep my faith and trust in him and let him know I will be here when he gets back. I can't let our frustrations with the Army affect our marraige. I hope I can avoid becoming a jaded military wife.
Already I have experienced frustration with the Army. I was told to contact one person to request the weekend with John, but there was someone else I was supposed to contact. I still don't know at this point if I will get the weekend with him, and will more than likely have to hang around Friday to find out. I know this is just a small taste of what is to come.
What I really want to know is what makes us jaded?
Things change and I have to learn to roll with the punches. A new friend of mine says her fiance says, "only worry about the things you can control". This is so true. But what I keep thinking to myself through the frustration and stress is that this is what is making him happy. This is what he wants right now and I need to be here to support that 100% no matter how often the Army changes its mind.
Is it that after so long we get tired of giving up our lives and putting them backseat to the Army life? I hope that I can keep the positive attitude through the years as we experience more and more what this life has to offer us.
Like marriage things are not always easy. Some things you have to work harder at to get the result you want. You have to come to a compromise with certain things in order for both parties to be at least somewhat happy. Now, I realize that it will be more the Army way or no way at all.
I do believe that we are going to have to work harder to make sure the other person knows how much we care and love them. I am scared of deployments and being away from one another, but I know that I have to keep my faith and trust in him and let him know I will be here when he gets back. I can't let our frustrations with the Army affect our marraige. I hope I can avoid becoming a jaded military wife.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)