Thursday, May 27, 2010

Books, Books and More Books.

Being the new military wife that I am becoming, I have purchased a few books suggested to me by other military wives. They are coming in slowly so once I get started I will share my thoughts. Please be patient as I am also in school and the next month is going to be crazy busy!

If you have any suggestions please let me know. Books I've ordered:

"Married to the Military"
"Chicken Soup for the Military Soul"
"Separated by Duty"
"Army Wives"
"Faith Deployed"

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Not Now!

So the last few days have not been the best. John's grandmother is in the hospital and it doesn't look good. After speaking with my father-in-law last night we decided not to tell him anything yet. Is it the best decision? I don't know if there is one.

On the one hand this is his family, the only grandparent he has left. He has a right to know. But I don't want him to worry or be sad. I don't want him to leave the beginning of his career. Honestly, I don't know what he would do. I wonder if this would fuel him even more to want to get through basic or make him want to come home to be with his family. I really don't want training to be postponed and I feel that that is selfish of me.

If anyone can answer this please do. I know I am to contact the Red Cross if anything bad happens, but is that only for a death? If we decide to go ahead and tell him the situation I would rather do it on the phone and right now I don't know when I am getting calls and for how long. I had my first call in over a month this past Sunday, but only for 10 minutes. That conversation is NOT how I want to spend 10 minutes.

At this point there isn't anything we can do but sit and spend time and hope for the best. My heart is breaking for my in-laws and the rest of the family. We have been together for seven years and I thought for sure she might get to see us have children. They weren't that close, at least I don't think they are. We were over there every holiday and major event. He comes from a huge family.

I feel somewhat like an outsider. It's different when it isn't your family, even though they have been my other family for several years. They are keeping me up to date on everything when I call and they are not excluding me from anything, so I don't know why I feel that way. I feel helpless, but there isn't anything anyone can do.

It hurts me to know my husband is 10 hours away and has no clue what is going on at home. I feel like I am betraying him.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Army Wife Prayer

The first deployment seems so far aways. Who knows when. It seems like it will come sooner than I would like, but right now I can barely think about anything past graduation. I know that while he is away I will need to pray more than ever. I know that while he is away he is away because he is serving his country. Not just protecting me anymore, but protecting a whole country. 

I found this prayer and while it says it is an Army Wife Prayer, I believe it can go for any branch. We are always waiting for our loved one to come home and realize they are out their doing a duty. And while they are out, we have a duty at home. To pray for them and make sure they have someone supporting them and loving them. They need us as much as our country needs them. 

"The Army Wife Prayer"

Dear Lord, 

Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me the understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go. Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away. And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in  our loving hand. And Lord, , when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. 



Thursday, May 20, 2010

What Makes A Family

Family used to consist of mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and so forth. The older I get though; I realize family includes others as well. Two of my best friends I met in sorority in college. We have become so close that I consider them my true sisters. I am Auntie Ashley to my friend’s baby, who will be one in July.

According to Wikipedia (because it is such a trustworthy source and all), family is defined as an exclusive group of people who share a close relationship —a unit typically (or "traditionally") composed of a mated couple and their dependent children (procreation) in co-residence. I agree that it is a group of people sharing a close relationship. A unit.

I have met a group of women on Facebook, on a Ft. Benning page. Some mothers, some girlfriends, fiancés, wives, but all are going through what I am going through. We are without someone special in our lives right now. Without each other who knows how we would be handling the situation.
The last three weeks have been and rollercoaster ride and we have been there to try and make each other smile, laugh or even cry together. I am amazed and thankful for my new family and can't wait to see what is in store for us.

Families are those who are there for you regardless if they are blood related. They don’t have to be the ones living the closest to you or the ones you see every holiday. The ones I consider family are the ones that are there even when I don’t want them to be. The ones that lend a shoulder, cry with me, laugh with me, through good and bad. The ones there just to hang out.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Falling In Love All Over Again

This is not the first time John and I have not been together. I have had the occasional family trip here and there before we got married. However, this is the longest we have been seperated from each other in the almost seven years we have been together. Lets not forget there are not phone calls. I accidentally called him the other day. It wasn't the first time I had to stop and think about what I was doing.

A friend of mine is a Marine wife. Her husband has been in the Marines for about eight years now. She said seperations only get harder. I have to admit at first I was surprised by this, but she brought up a good point. When they come home you fall in love all over again and get to know each other all over. I am kind of looking foward to getting to know my husband all over again, even though we have been together for so long.

I thought that I would just have to get used to the fact that we were going to be apart a lot and I needed to get used to this feeling. I thought eventually it would get easier, but it isn't. I don't know if that is good or bad. But I liked the idea of getting to know him again and I believe it will add something more to our relationship.

You don't have to be seperated from your husband or loved one though to continue to fall in love with them. I think that is just the beauty of being married and being in a relationship where you truly love the other person. After we got married I developed this whole other love for John that I didn't think was possible. And even though he isn't here with me, I continue to fall in love with him all over through his letters and just knowing he loves me.

Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I'm a Military Wife...What Does That Mean?

I used to be just a wife. A wife who worked, came home, cooked and tried to take care of her husband. What would any other wife do? But now I am also a military wife and what does that mean?

Being a military wife seems like a whole other job. It is my duty to not only support my husband for his decision, but to also attend events and possibly host parties. Do I mind? Not really. But I have to admit I feel like Joan Cleaver with the military strips, if that makes any sense. To me I think it is to also means supporting other wives and husbands who are going through the same thing.

But I think most importantly being a military wife means supporting my husband while he fights for our country. It means giving him the strength to want to go out and do his job knowing it is going to mean something and make the difference. Honestly, it makes me want to become a better wife.

It is still early in the game, but I am curious to see where this title takes me.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Thank You For All You Do

So when I tell people my husband is in the Army they say "Thank you" for what you do. I understand the "Thank You" for him because he is going out and risking his life to protect this country. Well he will be. But a "Thank You" to me?

As a military wife I know I am going to have to give up my rights somewhat. I won't be able to plan anything because who knows when John will be deployed. I have to get used to the idea that I will have to go months (hopefully not a year) without my husband while they send him to fight in a country. They will control where I go and when I leave. My life is now an Army life almost as much as John's is.

I know it will make John happy to have this kind of life. This is what he wants and I am very proud of him for doing it. I just want him to be happy. I am proud of any of the men and women serving out country, but I know it takes a lot to want to put yourself through the training.

So here is my Thank You moms for giving us the men and women who serve. Thank you to the wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, and fiances who stand by their solider as they fight for our country. And Thank You to the soldiers who put their life on the line everyday.

Friday, May 7, 2010

On The Up and Up

I know it has been a few days since I have written. I should be happy I don't know where this week has gone, but all of a sudden feel like I have so much to do.

I have received a letter from John almost everyday this week. Tuesday was the only day, but I had two Wednesday to make up for it. It is great to read what he has been up to. This week they have done the gas chamber and completed an obstacle course. I heard his Platoon has the best time for the obstacle course. However, he has had to do quite a few push-ups due to others getting them in trouble or the team not completing a task.

One woman I am talking to won a contest on Ft. Benning's Facebook page by answering a trivia question the quickest. By doing so she was able to pick a company to have photos taken of and she chose C Company, which is John's company. Her husband, along with a group of us, all have husbands/sons/fiancés/bfs in the same company so we were all thrilled to death when we heard Sarah won. The pics got posted yesterday and John was in about five of them.

I can't really say it enough how great it is to have such a great support system with the women I have met. We all understand what the other is going through and it makes it easy for us. We are all excited for each other when someone gets a phone call or a letter, and are sad for one another when the others haven't received anything. It is great to have them because we share information with one another. We all get bits and pieces of info, but we are able to share it with each other.

More and more each day I try to feel truly blessed for what I have. My husband and all the letters I am receiving, my life, my new and old friends. John has been going to church and started talking with a Chaplain. He isn't much of a religious person, so it is nice to see this side of him. It is inspiring.

Well, that is all for right now. More to come soon.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Letter numero dos

So I received another short letter yesterday, but no complaints. A letter is still a letter.

John is doing well. He had written it during laundry duty, so he isn't getting much time for anything. Has been gone for two weeks now, but it seems much longer. The sad part is there are still eight weeks until I'm on my way to GA. It seems like FOR-EV-ER (like the way the boy says it in the Sandlot)!

The good news is a girl I met through the Ft. Benning Facebook page won a contest today. Because she won she can choose to have a picture taken of any company, so she chose ours. She husband is in the same company as John and pictures will be posted Thursday. YAHOO!

I miss my love so much. It is getting easier, but when something exciting happens or when I'm down talking to him is what always made me feel better. At least I have a groups of ladies who know how I feel. I miss my best friend.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A litte bit of everything

So it has been a couple days since I have posted anything.

I did receive a letter from John yesterday. It was short, but I'm happy I got one. He is doing well. He has been issued a gun and is still getting used to it. His group got in trouble the other day and they had to do twice the push ups. That doesn't sound fun at all.

Things are getting better for me. I think it largely has to do with the great group of women I have met this week who are going through the same process as I am. It is wonderful to have someone to talk to everyday about what is going on and they care how I am doing. There are so many groups and discussions out there that it is hard to keep up with it all. Right now there are about five women I've met whose significant other is graduation with John and going to OCS with him as well.

Don't get me wrong, I still miss him and can't wait to see him. His graduation is July 1st so in about 8.5 weeks I will get to see my love. The good news is graduation is a day earlier than we expected. The bad news is I have to send a request to spend the weekend with my husband. He is supposed to report to OCS July 2nd. BOOOOO!

Well, about to start my day. Have a great one everyone!