So tomorrow is my birthday. Normally I would go around counting down the days and celebrating the whole month. But now I just want to forget that it is even coming since John isn't here. It just isn't the same.
He sent me a birthday card which I received Monday. I broke down as it was just another reminder that he isn't here. I know this won't be the last birthday he misses. Back in March we went to Charlotte to visit with our friends and they were nice enough to let me go to the Apple store. I have been wanting a Mac and John let me get one for my birthday....three months early.
I know my co-workers are going to sing to me any minute because I am off tomorrow to go to Maryland. A friend I met through Facebook sent a package of tissues (for when I cry at graduation), an American Flag and a few other things. I thought that was sweet. Her boyfriend will graduate with John on the 30th and go over to OCS with him as well. She has been trying to make it better for me.
I feel bad because my mom calls and keeps saying, "its almost your birthday" and I just keep saying, "I'm not celebrating". I just want people to forget it this year. It doesn't mean anything to me if my Love isn't here.